Blogging about blogging.

I started blogging a month ago today (okay, I'm 2 days early, I was too impatient to wait). A month of blogging. It might seem like longer (at least to me) because I've got such an abnormally high volume of posts. I started out very strong, doing as much as 3-4 posts per day. I quickly began to love writing. Now, a month later and I've been pretty much posting a blog a day. I have been slowing down which is probably a good thing. I still write a lot everyday, many of my posts unfinished and going into the Drafts folder to be continued later. I do slightly worry about not being able to come up with posts interesting enough that my readers will continue to return. I have really sh!tty, poorly thought out, random posts sometimes (see last few days). I like those because that's how I feel when I write them but that stuff won't be enough to sustain a long time reader. My readers will get bored. Which brings me to my next point.

Originally, I said that I was doing this blogging thing for me but I'd like to think that I'm doing this for my readers as well. That you might look at something differently or understand me better. As a relatively shy and quiet person (at least compared to my friends), I find that I tend to observe social situations and interactions rather than be involved in them. As such, I assume that I probably know my friends slightly better than they know me. I feel that with this, my friends can learn about me if they choose to. That we might have something in common that wouldn't come up in a regular conversation and that the next time we meet, it will be more comfortable and more of an interaction rather than an awkward silence.

Of the few blogs I follow, I've discovered many things about said blogger that I would never have discovered through other means. I feel closer to them even if they don't feel the same. I believe that this one-sided familiarity leads to comfort and with that, a deeper friendship. I know some of my readers have learned more about me in this last month than they have in the few years they've known me. Even if I don't know about them in return, I'm sure that the next time we meet, things will be a little less awkward and a little more friendly :) Well, that's what I hope at least!

While I've stated that writing has never been a goal of mine, I am slowly looking up grammar issues, things that have confounded me for years that I just never learned because I was too lazy or didn't care. It's slow but I do feel better about myself and my writing the more I learn. I still don't know how my content flows from the reader perspective. When I read other blogs, I feel dwarfed in comparison in their structure and flow. I'm impressed at how they write, the creative and knowledgeable use of the English language, and feel that I don't measure up to any of it/them. I want to get better and become an equal to them but have little motivation for it. I would feel so much more productive if I were getting better at say, asp.NET than writing. Still, it's insanely frustrating using the same words to describe things or not being able to find the words to accurately convey my thoughts. I've run into this problem so many times already.

Anyways, I think I'll get back to this hockey game that's been muted for 2 periods while I wrote. GO CANADA! █ ♥ █