1337 speak

I've been using an increasingly large amount of 1337 (=leet=elite) speak lately in my twitter and blog. Most of it learned playing the World of Warcraft...

Awesomesauce
Weaksauce
lololololol
Epic Fail
Terribad
LOLs
lawl
lul
= Win.
= Fail.
FTW...or FTH (For the Horde)
pwn
nub (n00b)
Pr0n

I enjoy using these terms, it makes me feel young, like I could still talk to a teen, even now. I DO also use old slang as well though...making me old.

Dude
What's up
Cowabunga! - nah, I don't really say that

I wonder...what will happen to my 1337 speak now that I've stopped playing WoW. It's undeniable that most of what I learned was from that game...
I never want to get too old that I forget how to talk like a teenage moron. What do I do? I don't frequent urbandictionary often unless there's a specific term I want.

I guess I should just play WoW and chill in Dalaran and watch the stupidity. If you've ever read/witnessed it, some of it is pretty fracking entertaining....pure genius hidden within pure idiocy. Some very intelligent people drowning their lives and their potential. Kinda like what I did.

Posting 2 old posts = EPIC WIN.
Running out of content = EPIC FAIL.

But that's what this blog's all about anyways. some EPIC FAIL. I CTRL-F 13 "Epic Fail"s on this page atm.

Irrelevant. I know that's not the right word.

After you use the word repeatedly, it tends to lose it's meaning.

Irrelevant - not related, not applicable, unimportant, not connected

To say my content is irrelevant means to compare it to something. But I don't really compare it to anything when I use the word meaning that it's being used incorrectly.

Or so I would have you believe.

The idea is that my content is irrelevant to EVERYTHING. Which is false but I entertain the idea. It makes everything I write seem...even less significant than it already is.

Posting random 2 month old post = win.

The blog will continue! Full speed ahead!

Being alone with my thoughts for almost 3 hours today made me realize just how much more I want to say/write....really, the only thing necessary for my blog posts is some time alone with my thoughts. Coming up with topics while driving is ridiculously easy. Remembering those same topics by the time I get back to my computer is the tricky part.

I really need to stop...making new posts while I have so many unfinished (but mostly written) posts in my drafts...I should really finish those off before writing new posts...I have like, 15 atm O_O

I tend to resist blogging after I've made a meaningful post. Like my last post, I wanted to leave for a few days so that I could get more comments or feedback...but again, self control isn't my strength and the 3 hour drive I had made me very excited to write.

This weekend

1. My mind was in productive mode...but Zena was here. And when she's around, it's so easy to fall out of productive mode. It's like there's a fire under my ass to get sh!t done when I'm alone. And then when she's around, that fire is just a nice warmth...that puts me to sleep.

2. Zena was playing WoW and I remembered the pull and urge I got from WoW. I was interested but not enough to even think about re-logging in. Seriously though, when she comes back and she's done school and fully into WoW...will I be able to keep away? Can a smoker stop smoking if everyday, someone's blowing smoke in his face? Can an alcoholic stop drinking if the alcohol is constantly being dangled in front of him? These answers all point to "no"...but will I be able to defy the addiction? I would say time will tell...but no....as I write this, I'll cancel my account/uninstall it from my comp, at least before Zena gets back. WoW is/was probably the biggest mistake of my entire life. But more about that later *hint* it's a future blog post...

That's it for now. Right now I don't feel like I'll stop blogging...but then again, I'm also fickle. The gemini part of me makes me feel completely different on different days...or in this case, completely different a few hours later...

Blogging about blogging Part 2

Few things regarding this blog:

1. I still want to write but the reason I started blogging is no longer applicable. I've completed what I needed to complete with it. This means...I'm going to chill a little on this blog. I'm already slowing down (and that's a good thing).

2. Thanks to my readers. I count 11 of you that consistently read -voluntarily-. This does not include people whom I tell/force to read my blog (Ron & Chris, you don't count as my readers...cuz ur jerkfaces...)

3. There were quite a few rants that I've accumulated in my head throughout my LIFETIME. And a lot of them have already been written...for example:
"I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do"
Hi. I'm Warren. I'm a web developer.
Life. As seen through the eyes of Warren.
The internet is bad.
"People always leave."
I've only got a couple of -meaningful- blog posts that I have in my head left. This means that either I reduce my number of posts or maintain my meaningless posts...the idiocy ones or the ones written on the fly. So, I'm going to ask you, the readers, do you just like reading whatever? Short posts of all the little things I notice? Or do you prefer posts that are long, more thought out, and...possibly more interesting?

And why don't I just do what I want? I don't really know what I want...As I said, the reason I started blogging no longer applies. I want to find new purpose, new motivation. If I don't have a reason...I'll revert back to old, lazy Warren. I'm looking for feedback, I'm looking for guidance...

The urge to write.

Argh! I was having such a bad day today. Things just didn't go well. To be fair, I slept at 2:30 am last night and woke up at 8...I also skipped lunch. I think that probably played a big part in my sh!tty afternoon. I felt really...uneasy. Stressed with nothing to be stressed about. It's hard to explain.

Anyways, the thing I wanted to do most while I felt this way...was blog. I had this incredible urge to just write about anything. My mind was racing and unfocused and I just wanted to release whatever was in there. I sat in-front of this same webpage that I'm looking at now. It was just me, an old draft, what I'd written before and what I intend to write. Everything else began to fade away.

I never really...had this outlet before. I didn't even realize how much writing seemed to relax me. I'm trying to think about what I would have done if not for this blog...I would probably have just stewed with my music and my thoughts. Maybe taken a walk to clear my head, I don't know. Even now, as I write, I feel so focused...everything in the world doesn't seem to exist. It's very relaxing.

I'm listening to a song right now, the same song I've been listening to for over a week, both at work and at home, replaying over and over....the lyrics just caught my attention as they seem to apply right now:

"Where do you go when you're lonely? Where do you go when you're blue?"

Maybe my answer is here. Maybe this is where I go.

Blogging about blogging.

I started blogging a month ago today (okay, I'm 2 days early, I was too impatient to wait). A month of blogging. It might seem like longer (at least to me) because I've got such an abnormally high volume of posts. I started out very strong, doing as much as 3-4 posts per day. I quickly began to love writing. Now, a month later and I've been pretty much posting a blog a day. I have been slowing down which is probably a good thing. I still write a lot everyday, many of my posts unfinished and going into the Drafts folder to be continued later. I do slightly worry about not being able to come up with posts interesting enough that my readers will continue to return. I have really sh!tty, poorly thought out, random posts sometimes (see last few days). I like those because that's how I feel when I write them but that stuff won't be enough to sustain a long time reader. My readers will get bored. Which brings me to my next point.

Originally, I said that I was doing this blogging thing for me but I'd like to think that I'm doing this for my readers as well. That you might look at something differently or understand me better. As a relatively shy and quiet person (at least compared to my friends), I find that I tend to observe social situations and interactions rather than be involved in them. As such, I assume that I probably know my friends slightly better than they know me. I feel that with this, my friends can learn about me if they choose to. That we might have something in common that wouldn't come up in a regular conversation and that the next time we meet, it will be more comfortable and more of an interaction rather than an awkward silence.

Of the few blogs I follow, I've discovered many things about said blogger that I would never have discovered through other means. I feel closer to them even if they don't feel the same. I believe that this one-sided familiarity leads to comfort and with that, a deeper friendship. I know some of my readers have learned more about me in this last month than they have in the few years they've known me. Even if I don't know about them in return, I'm sure that the next time we meet, things will be a little less awkward and a little more friendly :) Well, that's what I hope at least!

While I've stated that writing has never been a goal of mine, I am slowly looking up grammar issues, things that have confounded me for years that I just never learned because I was too lazy or didn't care. It's slow but I do feel better about myself and my writing the more I learn. I still don't know how my content flows from the reader perspective. When I read other blogs, I feel dwarfed in comparison in their structure and flow. I'm impressed at how they write, the creative and knowledgeable use of the English language, and feel that I don't measure up to any of it/them. I want to get better and become an equal to them but have little motivation for it. I would feel so much more productive if I were getting better at say, asp.NET than writing. Still, it's insanely frustrating using the same words to describe things or not being able to find the words to accurately convey my thoughts. I've run into this problem so many times already.

Anyways, I think I'll get back to this hockey game that's been muted for 2 periods while I wrote. GO CANADA! █ ♥ █

It's and Its

Soooooo.........I've been writing emails, blogs, twitter...under the following (incorrect) assumption.

I thought "It's" was written to convey possession. e.g. "It's monkey butler disobeyed even the simplest of commands and threw feces everywhere."

But "It's" does not convey possession....I've been oh so wrong.

Its is a possessive pronoun meaning, more or less, of it or belonging to it.

I think I'm going to go back and fix all these errors.

Self-learning = Win.
Years of incorrect grammar remedied in 2 minutes = Fail.

EDIT - In the post below, there were 6 instances of incorrect use -_-; sigh.

My mind is empty + The best purchase ever.

I've hit a writing and thought dry spell. I haven't had any urge to write in a few days. My girlfriend has been around for a few days too, I'm not sure if that's proof of what I discussed here or coincidence. Regardless, I don't want to slow down in my blogging otherwise 3 days turns into 1 week, 1 week to 1 month and next thing you know, I don't blog anymore.

I'm going to dig up one of my old drafts and write about it - that's what they're here for. Bare with me, there's a lack of passion to the following post and writing without passion feels really...bleh. I don't like it.

The best purchase ever.

I think one of the smartest things I've ever done was spend an extra few hundred dollars on my mattress/bed. My girlfriend and I tested out (by lying down on them - get your mind out of the gutter) mattresses from Sears, Sleep Country, The Bay, everywhere that we could do some tests. The mattress we purchased from Sleep Country was a bit more expensive than we wanted. About a 1/4 of the price more. But I have to say, the investment was definitely worth it.

We (everyone) spends so much time sleeping. Ideally at least a third of our lives. The other two thirds rely heavily on this one third. My sleeping habits have become better lately without WoW and with my new change in lifestyle. No more sleeping between 2:30am to 8:30am on weekdays and 13 hours on weekends (totally 56 hours/week ~ 8 hours/day). While the numbers add up correctly, the sleeping pattern is...I wouldn't say unhealthy, but could be better. No more being highly irritable during the weekday, bless my co-workers for forgiving me on my less polite days. No more coffee needed to function properly. I'm trying to maintain my standard 8 hours/day, everyday. It kinds sucks because even on weekends, I wake up before noon, something I haven't been accustomed to since elementary school (yeah, my sleeping patterns have ALWAYS been frakked up).

Sorry, I got a little side tracked. Getting back to this bed thing, I suggest that when you buy your next bed, don't rush it. Choose carefully and be willing to pay considerably more for a better mattress. You deserve it and trust me, it will return the favor ten-fold. I love my bed. Sleeping on an air mattress and occasionally the couch makes me appreciate it even more. I would jump in-front of a bullet to save my bed. I would rescue my bed from a burning building before I would rescue my girlfriend. I would rather be alone with my bed than be with my girlfriend and my bed. Hey, three's a crowd.

I know what you're thinking:
Best. Boyfriend. Ever.

Ironically, this post will probably prevent me from being with my bed for a couple days and I'll be forced to spend some much needed quality time with my good friend, the couch, of which I usually only game with.

I need engrish lessons.

Putting the you in impri-you-vement is unpossible amirite? (sorry, that's 2 Simpsons quotes in one line...making no sense whatsoever)

In my last post, I felt both limited in vocabulary as well as...unable to express my thoughts and emotions well enough in written form. While I said writing is not a goal of mine...I am currently unsatisfied with my skill level in this matter. I just need to improve a bit. So far, http://www.synonym.com/synonyms/ is my most used site while I write.

I need to read a dictionary and a thesaurus. And a book on Grade 8 English for Dummies.
All 3 sound very boring.

I'll just continue reading Monster...I don't know what the point of this post was.

So tired.

An "abnormal" amount of blogging.

I can explain. 4 months prior to this, I had been living with my girlfriend. Not only living with her, working with her as well. We would walk to work together, we'd leave work together, we'd eat lunch together. Literally 23/7 time together on average. I'm serious, 23/7. That's a lot. Because of this, I always had someone to bounce random thoughts and ideas off of. A second presence or mind beside me. Suddenly, she left (for school! not cuz I'm fail boyfriend!).

The sudden independence and silence resulted in a lot of thinking and depression. My head was bursting with thoughts and ideas with no outlet. Thankfully, I started this blog. The release of my thoughts really help the sudden loneliness I have been experiencing. The (one way) communication is still significantly better than none. I have absolutely no doubt that when my girlfriend returns from school, my blogging will dramatically decrease. Also, the key with irrelevant content is that I could probably go on forever. And you, the reader, don't have to read anything...I'm doing this for me. BTW - I love my readers and their comments <3

So yes, admittedly an abnormal amount of blogging. I'm sure I'll revert to a normal amount soon enough...

Okay, I lied. I don't hate reading.

This has nothing to do with the post below. Despite my frequent claims that I hate to read, I've realized that this is not true. And by "read", I mean read novels or stories. Not daily reading (like a street sign or advertisement). Not reading comic books/manga. I'm talking lots of words and no pictures :)

While reading this Naruto Fanfiction, I've come to the conclusion that I don't hate reading if what I'm reading is enjoyable enough. I enjoy reading if the content/information is interesting to me. However, my area of interest is small and my patience low. Therefore, the pool of things I would like to read is relatively small in comparison.

I don't hate to read. I'm just very very picky.

I talk to myself. Even through time.

[12.20.02]
wahoo !!!!! i finally got my wacom 4x6 drawing tablet....4x6 !! so small...but if 4x6 is 400$ and 6x8 is 700$, i think i'll save the 300$ for the extra 2 inches....maybe when i have more money, i'll get a bigger one.... damn...400$....it was this or ps2....and i chose this....better be worth it !! - from azn_prometheus

*In angry but warren comical tone*
You stupid child! Not only is your writing awful to look at but you've made a worthless purchase! In less than 3 years, you'll start playing World of Warcraft and you will realize that the pen does not work with the game. The tablet will become a $400 mousepad until you realize that you should just pack it away. Once packed away, it will never again see the light of day. And the PS2 you didN'T purchase will leave you so behind in games (FF9, FFX, FFX-2, MGS3, KH1, KH2, ...) that you'll never be able to catch up! And you'll be playing Megaman 9 and Megaman 10 because it's short and you can pick it up and drop it anytime and not have to play until you find a save point cuz oh wait, you have work and you wanna build websites and read books - not even novels, textbooks. Oh god you are lame.

I just watched "Burn after Reading" and not only did it make me wanna rage during the movie, but I've got a lingering hate from all the unnecessary profanity that my poor ears had to be subjected to. And my optimism that the movie might get better faded when the credits ran and I felt sheer disappointment. And a movie where everyone was cheating on everyone else made me question the sanctity of marriage.

*In normal tone*
On another note, this rage made this last post easy to write.

*Back to angrycomical tone*
...but STILL I'M ANGRY. Time to read more fanfiction...soothe my nerves and mend my heart. Who's got the love that makes me BELIEVE IN IT AGAIN? <3 Shikamaru and Yuri <3. That's who. Chapter 8.

I have been getting lazy with my posts.

I have not been capitalizing, re-reading, editing, etc. This is not something I want to pursue going forward. It not only makes it more difficult for you, the reader, to read but it also makes my content less relevant. If I don't care, why should you? I've corrected most of my previous posts. Bad habits should not be encouraged any further.

*slaps own hand with own hand*

SELF FIVE. Yeah, you know it.

Writing discoveries! Mood and passion affect writing...

This is probably obvious to someone that writes a lot but as this (writing) is brand new territory, it's a new discovery to me.

I wrote a bunch of different blog posts today, none of which were particularly written well and none of which I was satisfied in posting.

My mind is dull. Clear. Empty. Unfocused.

I posted a bit of a downer post yesterday, at least it was a downer for me, but I removed it. I will try not to post about things that are written with negativity. Negativity and hate spread easily and I will not be someone that brings someone else down.

I've also discovered that I've got at least 4 (somewhat) distinct ways of writing.

One is proper. The case is correct, the sentences are well thought out and formatted. "You" is spelt "You". I look for synonyms and re-read sentences repeatedly to ensure a concise point.

One is lazy. i don't cap my i's. "You" is spelt "u".

One is my thoughts, in almost pure form. I convey a pause in my thoughts with a "..." and I don't go back and erase them. This is written on the fly. I notice that my blog lacks this type of writing but it's very apparent in my IMs (instant messages) and twitter.

And the last one is the old me with a writing style of "well, i go back to skool in....2 days !! 2 !!!!!! ahhhhhh !!!!!" - taken directly from me on Jan 4, 2003. It's funny how some of the style from 7 years ago is the same, but just...unrefined. I sure did love my exclamation marks back then. I must be getting old, no longer having the same enthusiasm as I did when I was younger.

Okay. I'm satisfied with this post. I sleep satisfied with today's accomplishments and I will wake up and face tomorrow's challenges.

12 (13 with this) posts in 5 days. I am addicted to writing.

I'm totally feeling the need to write. It's almost as strong as my need to play WoW from a few weeks ago. But I think I need to restrain myself to 1 post a day, max.

It's really getting in the way of my "productive warren" goals which include: catching up on movies, learning asp.net 3.5, relearning and retaining sql, and building my own, new personal website.

While everyone is saying that writing is also productive, because of my new addiction to writing, I'm seeing it as an obstacle to my other goals. Because I don't see writing as productive. Writing is not, and will never be, one of my long-term goals. My focus is on the web.

Dilemma!

I won't ask what I should do because I have 0 readers and this is a personal decision. But advice/comments (from my 0 readers) would be appreciated :)

Writing and Overthinking

I've discovered that I rather enjoy writing. My audience is probably only me at the moment, but regardless, I have personal satisfaction as I find it a very cathartic experience. My mind is working and thinking about things in ways that I haven't experienced in years. I've always known that I'm an overthinker. I analyze situations in every possible way imaginable and because of my imagination, sometimes my ideas are pretty out there. It should be noted that I also tend to overcomplicate situations, overanalyze them, and completely miss the most direct solutions -_-;. But anyways, I find that writing my thoughts down leaves my mind mentally satisfied. I wish I could convey my thoughts better in written form but I'll assume that will come with time and practice. I've got quite a few rants that I've saved up in my head over the years, it will take time to write them, and write them well, but I'm excited to get the ideas out there. I never would have assumed I would like to write. I hate reading. I did poor in English (it was certainly no math or science). Would I consider this a new hobby? Hm. I just might.