When internet handles are no longer kool.

I've been guilty of a number of internet handles that, over time, just aren't kool anymore

megasigmax - My first handle, a merging of Megaman X and Sigma (the main villain of the series)

megazeroxx - My alt handle, a merging of Megaman X and Zero of the same series. I thought it was an okay alt handle until my friend pointed out that a "mega" "zero" is actually pretty lame. I abandoned the name immediately, humiliated that I didn't notice the obvious connection. Also, there are 2 "X"s. That's just 1 short from being pr0n. I also didn't notice that. Sigh.

azn_prometheus - Prometheus, the villain of the justice league in Grant Morrison's run. Named after the Greek god, my spin by turning him into an Asian_Greek_god certainly didn't make a whole lot of sense
(azn_prometheus - my old website from 2002)

ICQN - My deviantart handle (http://icqn.deviantart.com/). The idea was to make it like ICON, but the O was a Q, like a comic book chat bubble. Inside the Q, was the ICON. It was a failure because it's too much like ICQ, which some still remember as one of the first popular instant messaging services. Also, is it ICON or ICQN? and why is there so much emphasis on ICON when it's ICQN. This boggles even my mind.

This sig is on a Supergirl picture I colored hence the icon of the trademark S and the female symbol.

AEGIS - My Initial D arcade handle. Taken from Gate Keepers anime, this one was the most uncringable.

I've finally decided to abandon these childish names, of which I realize I was never particularly good at. My handles are now:

warrenshea or xuehualun (my chinese name)

At least it only took 25 years to learn this. In the next 25 years, I hope to learn:
1. How to put the toilet seat down and
2. Something about women. Anything.

****SIDE STORY****
Shea isn't really a name of Chinese origin. It's Irish. The story is that when my father came to Canada, they asked him how to pronounce his last name. My father, poor at English, said "Xue", similar to Shea. The Americans asked him if "Shea" was okay, probably because they didn't know how to spell "Xue". My father agreed that it was okay. I learned later that it was one of his bigger regrets but at the time, it probably didn't seem like such an important decision (?). I've sometimes felt like changing my last name back to Xue, not for heritage reason, but because it would be kool to be Warren Xue. Warren X.

Stranger: "Hello, what're your name?"
Me: "Call me Mr. X"

WAH so kool !!!

I can sense everyone making a -_-; face and in disbelief at what they just read. I never claimed I wasn't an idiot.

go to me for advice

at least i make myself laugh.

12 (13 with this) posts in 5 days. I am addicted to writing.

I'm totally feeling the need to write. It's almost as strong as my need to play WoW from a few weeks ago. But I think I need to restrain myself to 1 post a day, max.

It's really getting in the way of my "productive warren" goals which include: catching up on movies, learning asp.net 3.5, relearning and retaining sql, and building my own, new personal website.

While everyone is saying that writing is also productive, because of my new addiction to writing, I'm seeing it as an obstacle to my other goals. Because I don't see writing as productive. Writing is not, and will never be, one of my long-term goals. My focus is on the web.

Dilemma!

I won't ask what I should do because I have 0 readers and this is a personal decision. But advice/comments (from my 0 readers) would be appreciated :)

Social Anxiety Disorder (Social Phobia): Eating infront of people

Everyone's scared of something. While I'm not particularly "scared" of this, eating infront of people makes me very uncomfortable. Uncomfortable to the point of if I had to, I would always choose to eat alone. Uncomfortable to the point of possibly psychologically tricking myself into be full earlier than I would be if I ate alone. Uncomfortable to the point of screaming out "DON'T LOOK AT ME!!" in the midst of eating with others. Okay, I made that last one up.

What I believe to be the start of my phobia occurred in grade 11-12. I was out at a dinner with some co-workers (I worked at Kumon, a math tutoring school). I was eating some ice cream and this girl across from me (co-worker) was giggling. I couldn't figure out why, I WAS eating in a funny way, kind of to make her laugh, but...when I asked why she was laughing, she wouldn't tell me. Later that night, while thinking about it, I came to my own conclusion that it was the way I held my spoon. While this may not have been the cause of her laughter, I came to a self-realization. I, for about 17~ years, had been holding my spoons and forks like this:


My parents, who aren't particularly civilized themselves when they eat, never corrected me and for my whole life, that (the image above) had been my natural way of using a utensil and eating. Even now, at the age of 27, I naturally hold utensils that way as it's more comfortable.

While I do, when I remember, hold a fork like so:

I don't think I'll ever forget my embarrassment and the realization of being 17~ years old and not knowing one of the simplest of table manners.

The issue with this realization was that, for my whole life, I had been doing something incorrectly and never corrected. What other obvious manners have I never been aware of? What other social norms do I continue to break? This has led to a whole level of self-consciousness and while I know I'm self-conscious of many things, I'm very aware of this one. I recognize that it's irrational but I don't know if there's anything I can do about it.

The lesson is: when you have kids, make sure to teach them everything you can. But don't pass on your unexplained phobias, disorders, and issues. Let them choose their own path in life, just guide them to being good people. And train them in video games because the heightened reaction time will save their lives when the aliens and robots attack.

Didier - Winterlicious

**PENDING REWRITE DUE TO SLEEPINESS** - 01/30/2010 - 1AM
**REWRITE IGNORED DUE TO LAZINESS** - 01/30/2010 - 2PM

I've gone to a few of summer/winterlicious things now. Only to 3 places for dinner, Auberge du Pommier, Benihana, and today to Didier. While the food was great, I don't think the food measured up to Auberge du Pommier, but the experience was much better. The staff here was really exceptional, funny, courteous, they made my night.

FYI Benihana was clearly the worst of the 3. It was a regular teppanyaki place, but like, 3x more expensive. yikes. that was a fail of a winterlicious.

If you're curious, I got a Pumpkin Puree appetizer, Jarret D’Agneau Crécy
(Braised lamb shank, carrot puree) entreé and a Gâteau au Chocolat Chaud
(Valrhona warm chocolate cake, chocolate sauce) dessert. The pumpkin puree appetizer was awesome in both presentation and taste. The Lamb looked awesome but didn't satisfy my taste buds. Someone else at my table that ordered it thought it was great though, maybe it was just me.
You can see the menu here:
http://www.toronto.com/restaurants/article/647842

One of the koolest parts was that Chef Didier Leroy came out after the meal, asked how the food was, and shook everyone's hand. I thought that was awesome.

It was pricey, even for winterlicious.
14 for 2 bottles of flat water.
60 for a bottle of champagne (about 5 glasses worth)
and the food, 45/person.
total it was like, 85 including tax & 17%~ gratuity.

Anyways, fun night. I really suck at restaurant and food review. I don't think I should do this again.

Oh well, it was nice to write something for tonight.

The Flash will beat anyone in a fight. And here's why...

While discussing superpowers at work today (no, seriously) it got me thinking about The Flash and why I love him and why he's so awesome.

First, the ground rules and my own limitations.
1. Powers do not affect the person using them. A few examples from different media:
a) Hiro (from Heroes) does not also freeze in time as well with everything else he freezes. He exists outside his own powers.
b) The Flash (from DC Comics) does not age at super-speed. His clothes do not disintegrate from air friction (this is taken from Wikipedia)
2. Near the end, I get into some physics, which I'll admit, I'm not an expert in. I don't know about mass at relativistic speeds. You will have to take my knowledge for what it is but I'm willing to listen if you prove me wrong.
3. I'm referring to the Wally West version of the Flash. I've got my knowledge from the Mark Waid and Grant Morrison runs. The Flash powers include:

the ability to move, think, react at superhuman speeds, vibrate so fast that they can walk through walls, travel through time and can also lend and borrow speed. - (this is taken right from Wikipedia)"

I won't go into time travel because I think that's kind of cheating.

The Scenarios

1. The Flash VS any normal person, anyone that shoots energy, or uses projectiles, etc.
The Flash, at super-speed, vibrates through someone. The kinetic energy he leaves in that person's atoms cause them to vibrate, and explode. Bloody mess.
Losers: Spider-Man. Batman. Cyclops. Wolverine. Iron Man. Captain America. + almost everyone else.

2. The Flash VS anyone with mental powers
While I psychic attack would be effective (unlike the above, where any projectile can be avoided at super-speed), Flash moves faster than thought. Before the enemy can think, Flash has done #1 to you (vibrated through you)
Losers: Professor X. Jean Grey (Phoenix). Dr. Strange. Zatanna. Green Lantern. Hiro.

3. The Flash VS super strength
No matter how strong someone is, or how "dense" their atoms are, the Flash's speed still allows him to vibrate through anything of normal speed.
Losers: The Hulk. Thor.

4. The Flash VS other fast people
Simply put, the Flash is the fastest man alive. That's his edge over anyone with a similar, but lesser power.
Losers: Quicksilver. Kid Flash. Senile Flash. Camera Flash. Trench coat Flash. (I made the last 3 up)

5. The Flash VS anyone with speed AND power/strength
Okay, here's where it gets tricky.
The Flash VS Wonder Woman or Superman - I won't go into Flash just going somewhere with super-speed and getting Kryptonite (for Superman). He can beat him in an even battle. This is literally taken from JLA #4 by Grant Morrison.

Flash Fact: Relativistic effects take over as a body approaches light-speed.
The Flash's body mass will increase towards infinity. At these speeds, it will appear that Flash is a continuous beam of light. At this speed, The Flash could throw a thousand punches before the opponent has a chance to blink. Despite the opponent's strength, with the mass mentioned above, one hit should do it.

Force = Mass x Acceleration, which according to some quick reading, holds even at relativistic speeds. The Flash has infinite force!

Please go here for the original source of this scenario. It's explained way better here.
http://goodcomics.comicbookresources.com/2009/05/29/a-year-of-cool-comic-book-moments-day-149/

6. The Flash VS Martian Manhunter
Martian Manhunter's powers:
Super-strength. Shape-shifting. Super-speed. Flight. And the tricky ones: Intangibility & Mental Powers. Combine that last 2 with super-speed....and there's trouble.
Weakness: Fire (yes, a tiny flame) robs him of his power.
I don't know how this fight would go down. The key to his power is intangibility (much like that of Kitty Pryde, Shadowcat). It's literally an ultimate defense if matter can't hit you (take that Gaara, Neji, and Sasuke!). While Shadowcat has this power, she would be too slow to activate it. Martian Manhunter, because of his speed, might be able to phase out just when the Flash is going to hit him. He can't be defeated by physical means (just like the Flash). But on the offensive, he has super-speed + mental powers. I don't know what would happen when you combine those 2....so, basically I don't know how an equal fight would go down here.
But if we're taking weaknesses into account, Flash can start a fire pretty damn fast (probably snapping his finger together, like in Full Metal Alchemist), rob the martian of his powers, and take him out.

The Flash is awesome. Combine this with my "Time" post and this is why I want to be the Flash. This is why everyone wants to be The Flash.


- from The Big Bang Theory, Season 1 Episode 6.

Not that long ago, in a living space not that far away...

My desk in highschool...


Atop my dresser...in highschool...


My comics...in highschool (i have more than that now -_-;)


YES, I AM COMFORTABLE DISPLAYING MY INNER NERD and NO, GIRLS WERE NOT INTERESTED IN ME. AT ALL. sadface.

I don't know what type of person I am

Too late to read scary Manga. Too late to read asp.NET. Too early to sleep.

Honestly, some of these posts aren't really meant to be read, they're a form of self-analysis and introspection. They aren't interesting, except maybe to myself. But I will write what's on my mind. And you will read what you choose to read.

Am I a:
Introvert or Extrovert? or Ambivert?
Optimist or Pessimist? or Realist?
Ninja or Pirate? or ...NinjaPirate?

Is the glass half empty or half full?
While this blog was named on a whim, I find it expresses myself very accurately in that...I don't know what type of person I am. While I might believe I know myself best, it's obvious that others see me differently and, depending on the circumstances, view me in completely different ways than I would believe.

Introvert or Extrovert? or Ambivert? - I've always thought of myself as an introvert. But I've been known to display extrovert characteristics frequently enough that some might believe I'm an extrovert. Perhaps I'm an Ambivert...sharing characteristics of both.

Optimist or Pessimist? or Realist? - I've always thought of myself as an optimist. I believe people are generally good, I believe that things will always work out for the best. But I also believe that there are scum on the Earth. People that don't deserve the life they've been given. And that the human population would sooner destroy itself and the Earth than be destroyed by any other means. Realist?

Ninja or Pirate? or ...NinjaPirate? - Okay, this one I'm sure of. I'm a Ninja over a pirate. But that question is irrelevant to my identity. I think.

I find it pretty unbelievable that I'm so...neutral. I'm still trying to find out who I am after so many years. I would have thought I'd know by now. I'm confident but insecure. I'm loud but shy. I'm quiet but sociable. I'm arrogant but humble. I work hard but I'm lazy. I love to sleep but I love to stay up as long as possible.

What do you think?
Introvert or Extrovert? or Ambivert?
Optimist or Pessimist? or Realist?
Ninja or Pirate? or ...NinjaPirate?

Don't you 0 people reading answer all at once now y'hear?

If you're thinking..."huh?!" or....."wtf?!" when you read my posts...

I know I think strangely. As I said before, I over-complicate things and often miss the most obvious of solutions and messages. My opinions reflect how I feel on a particular day or time but none of them are set in stone. I will gladly take any counter arguments, listen to them if they are sound, and adjust my opinions accordingly.

"To think you know everything is to know nothing at all."

I think I paraphrased that off someone...one of those smrt philosophomicers. But, I should state that while I have strong opinions on certain topics, I am by no means "right" and I'm always willing to be disproved or believe otherwise.

Challenge me.

Note: I'm also stubborn and illogical so challenge me if you want to be frustrated.

Is my Zodiac (Gemini) the reason for my being indecisive and fickle?

Dr. Sheldon Cooper from the Big Bang Theory Season 1, Episode 1 would reply that I "participate in the mass cultural delusion that the sun's apparent position relative to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your birth somehow affects your personality."

Despite the above statement, I always feel like I have 2 minds, arguing and counter-arguing with each other. They both bring up valid points with specific logic and reasoning. I, too often, make a reasonable, rational decision but after giving the issue more thought, decide on another completely reasonable, rational decision. I don't know why this is but it's a common Gemini trait.

Hm. I've decided to abruptly stop my post here. Doing research on Gemini traits, I realize going forward that any further writings will only have value if you, yourself are a Gemini. In the case you are not, I'm fairly sure you would lose interest.

Two things I will try not to write about going forward are posts that are relevant to some people, but not all, and dreams. I believe that while dreams are interesting, they are mostly only interesting to the individual that has them. Everyone has dreams. Everyone has strange dreams. I personally don't find it particularly interesting hearing or reading about another's dreams (sorry Clint, this isn't actually directed at you, it's just came up on an unrelated tangent). Dreams are unexplained phenomenon. They (possibly) reflect what someone might be feeling around the time of the dream but their significance, imo, is little. Now I'm sure there's backlash on that statement because hey, everyone can recount a dream that was significant or strange or important. But that's just it, EVERYONE can. What's a riddle that everyone knows the answer to? Worthless.

OMG remind me never to write a story, I'm all friggin frakin' over the place.

I blame being a Gemini.

Writing and Overthinking

I've discovered that I rather enjoy writing. My audience is probably only me at the moment, but regardless, I have personal satisfaction as I find it a very cathartic experience. My mind is working and thinking about things in ways that I haven't experienced in years. I've always known that I'm an overthinker. I analyze situations in every possible way imaginable and because of my imagination, sometimes my ideas are pretty out there. It should be noted that I also tend to overcomplicate situations, overanalyze them, and completely miss the most direct solutions -_-;. But anyways, I find that writing my thoughts down leaves my mind mentally satisfied. I wish I could convey my thoughts better in written form but I'll assume that will come with time and practice. I've got quite a few rants that I've saved up in my head over the years, it will take time to write them, and write them well, but I'm excited to get the ideas out there. I never would have assumed I would like to write. I hate reading. I did poor in English (it was certainly no math or science). Would I consider this a new hobby? Hm. I just might.

Time

These last 3 weeks, I've tried my best to use every moment in some sort of productive way. I've been dubbed "Productive Warren" and I enjoy the title. While it will be impossible to catch up on the 397 days of playtime from World of Warcraft (yes, you read that correctly, 397 DAYS OF PLAYTIME) since March 2005, I'm really doing my best to live each moment to the fullest. Ugh, how cliché.

I've set certain goals out for myself for the near future. I figure as long as I stay in productive mode, I will slowly but surely accomplish them. The enemy, as always, is time.

****SIDE NOTE****
One of the reasons why the Flash is one of my favorite superheroes ever is because he has infinite time. He takes naps while fighting criminals. He runs errands in seconds. He reads books in seconds. It's a power that I always wished I had. Regardless of whether or not he's productive, for him, time is hardly an enemy.

I'm not sure if it's because I'm getting old or not, but my old philosophy of staying up late to do work doesn't seem to apply anymore. While it's possible to do this for a short period of time, I'm finding that maintaining this pattern long term results in a dull mind. After I've re-read the same sentence over 3 times, failed to determine it's importance, I know that my mind is dull and I should just stop. I have to avoid that type of scenario because although I'm awake, I'm not productive. In the future, I will attempt to try getting more sleeping so that my mind is sharp.

It's counter intuitive because more sleep = less time but if the productivity is better because of the sleep, it could have better results. I'm aware that the last few paragraphs might seem obvious to some and that they may have figured this out years ago but for me, in the past, I always believed my mind and body could push through it.

Time. You are the enemy. I won't ever defeat you. But maybe I can use you.
If we work together...maybe we'll become friends.

****SIDE NOTE****
I just realized that this might be one of the reasons my favorite movie is Back to the Future. If properly done, time is not the enemy here either. Hm, I've given myself something to consider...I will evaluate this new thought.

Dwarf Hamsters

I have 2 dwarf hamsters. Throughout my life I've had 7 total. I love them because they're supa-kawaii (cute) and I envy their lives. I watch them like people watch fish. They sleep all day. They're active all night. They eat. And they sleep. They have no stress. They don't travel. They live in a clean environment (most of the time). They have food and water at all times without having to worry about it.

While their general life-span is only 2 years...I believe I would like to be reborn as a dwarf hamster. Not that I believe in that sort of thing. But if I did. Either a dwarf hamster, or a rabbit. Or Kirby. Because Kirby is cute as well. He floats like a cloud. He rides stars and steals people's powers. This post originally had something important to it...but...I don't know what happened.

:S

Movies

Upon my recent liberation from my 5 year hibernation of reality where I dreamt of the gorgeous land of Azeroth (= after 5 years of playing World of Warcraft), I've rediscovered an enormous amount of good movies that I've missed.

I'm keeping a list of movies here that I intend to watch soon.

Movies to watch (in no particular order)
Footloose
Reservoir Dogs
Godfather
Rocky
Rambo
Punisher
Predator
Aliens
Million Dollar Baby
Sideways
Grease
Snatch
Big Lebowsky
No Country for Old Men
Gran Turino
Lock Stock & 2 Smoking Barrels
SweeneyTodd
LA Confidential
Crank (maybe)
Glengarry Glen Ross
Casablanca

Watched Movies (and date watched)

Burn After Reading	02/03/2010
Lost in Translation	02/02/2010
Beetlejuice	02/01/2010
Shawshank Redemption	01/26/2010
Quantum of Solace	01/25/2010
Wolverine	01/24/2010
Casino Royale	01/23/2010
12 Monkeys	01/22/2010
Groundhog Day	01/22/2010
Pulp Fiction	01/21/2010
Se7en	01/21/2010

Is the glass half empty or half full?

I'm new at this. I'm not a good writer. I'm not a avid reader.
I have high standards and I'm a perfectionist. Which actually prevents me from doing excellent work as anything I attempt, if less than satisfactory, is abandoned. I've left a wake of unfinished projects in my life, constantly looking for new challenges and interests.

I'm content being excellent at a few things and completely horrible at everything else. Geography, History, Politics. I've got absolutely no interest in any of these, despite how much if affects my life. I'm always silent in these conversations as I have absolutely nothing of value to say, other than a joke to mask my stupidity.

I've yet to determine whether or not I'm an optimist or a pessimist. It usually depends on the day, but today seems like it could go either way.

Hm. I just took a quiz regarding the above, and surprise surprise:

You Are a Realist
You don't see the glass as half empty or half full. You see what's exactly in the glass
You never try to make a bad situation seem better than it is...
But you also never sabotage any good things you have going on.
You are brutally honest in your assessments of situations - and this always seems to help you cope.

I swear that on another day, I'd get something else. I'll have to test this again later....